Ugh

So I’m at the
Manchester Orchestra show rn and this person in front of me traced out a circle around herself in the wood chips on the ground and everyone that has walked by/around her has made a tremendous effort to walk around the circle without stepping in it and I don’t know what the takeaway was here but it was just really interesting to me

I just

cleared all the notifications on my phone and 

   That was the most refreshing thing I’ve done in my entire life I feel so good wow
I had like 129000000000 email notifications across theee (3) different email apps so what I did was just deleted one and for the others just flagged everything as read why didn’t I do that ages ago 

Honestly a lot of the apps I just deleted but it still counts 
It’s really good to just look at my phone and feel a lot calmer with everything laid out without those lingering red bubble numbers. I’ve been up for 18 hours straight

Ugh

Finally getting all my stuff moved into my new apartment tomorrow

I never want to move stuff again

Oh my god so this Dream last night

ughhhhhh

Oh my god so this Dream last night woke me up at 3:45 am and I would’ve just posted this whole deal then but I really really needed the sleep so I just jotted down these notes because of how stupidly ubsurd and stressful it was and oh my god I spelled “absurd” with a “u” just now which really gives you an insight on how badly I require the recommended amount of human sleep

 

So anyways my dream was that I was in the high school production of SOME musical, for the life of me after wracking my brain afterwards I couldn’t conclude what the musical was, so I can only assume it was some fever dream stupid fake musical I made up for the dream.

 

Recalling it now, i can’t quite put my finger on how it sounded exactly. Musically, it was similar to West Side Story with a modern, mid-2000s rock slant (kinda adjacent to Spring Awakening I guess) and the main character was a detective?? Anyways, I had been cast as the lead role for some (in-universe) inexplicable reason that I never really challenged, since in this dream it was very clearly established that I was in the last semester of graduate school.

 

But the real kicker was for whatever reason (I attributed it to being busy in the dream) I never attended a single rehearsal and nobody called me out on it or told me about it to remind me all the way up until the dress rehearsal the day before opening night. This was about where the dream started. So here I was, blasting through the lyrics for the second to last number in the musical trying to figure out my lines for this rehearsal with everyone being super passive aggressive towards me (and really, I guess, in the dream, rightfully so,) for only just now showing up and sucking tremendously.

 

The objectively WORST part of this dream was halfway through that number I fucking figured out I was in a dream. You know that Leo DiCaprio spinning top shit?? I had one of those moments and I can’t really remember how it happened but it did

 

and I figured out that everything in this stressful situation was a stupid dream and I figured it out thanks to the critically acclaimed 2011(?? Editors note please double check this before you post this because I don’t think this movie came out in 2011) blockbuster movie

 

The Inception (2011). I knew it was a dream but I am a supreme dumbass and thought “well this is a dream I know because of the movie inception and I did the thing that they do in that movie to figure out I am in

The “Dream” “World”

and it sucks and I can probably leave any time but maybe I’ll just ride this bad boy out and see what happens with this musical deal” so I just kept at it in what felt like real time up until the first performance. And I actually ended up nailing the opening number, but as soon as it was over I had to rush backstage to figure out the lyrics for the rest of the fucking musical.

 

A lot of this “figuring everything out on the fly” could probably be attributed to me being in

The “Dream” “World”

and trying to memorize lyrics only with the small allocation of memory saved for use during dreams,

anyways about halfway through the play I really just though long and hard about it and decided “no, this is really just way too much effort for what is 99.999% likely to be a dream so we’re just gonna leave” and I woke up and wrote all of this down.

 

I legitimately wish I had remembered a couple of the songs because I can vaguely recall that at least one of them was kind of a banger..

 

Anyways I think the whole thing was one big shitty metaphor on the imposter syndrome or whatever have a great day everyone

 

had a dream last night

and my dream was literally just another semester of school where i forgot to do any of my homework or projects and I got really shitty grades and it was awesome. After I graduated i moved away and despite that was living in a house with all of my college friends, and also my parents for some reason?

Today I have to work on some more server stuff. At the end of last semester our campus radio station’s server died so we spent last week setting up our new one. pretty exciting summer stuff.

 

so the incredibles

The movie The Incredibles

The pixar one. It’s about the family of superheroes or whatever. WEll the premise of it is, like, only people who are born with superpowers should be heroes. The bad guy, Syndrome or whatever, just wants to be a superhero like the ones he looks up to. And then at the end of the movie he gets killed because not being born with natural skills is a bad thing. He tries to become a superhero by building a super suit and super technology and by all means he should be a genius, but the geniuses at the Disney Corporation decided that being smart and working hard are actually The Bad Guy Traits and as such he is the villain and he gets killed.

this man is the villain of the incredibles movie

So the anime My Hero Academia

Is about a boy (Boku No Hero Academia btw is the name of the show in Japan) so yeah it’s about a boy name Izuku AKA Deku and in this world there are tons of heroes (think like the Incredibles) but not everyone is born with superpowers (yeah once again like the Incredibles) and Deku is one of the people who isn’t born with superpowers but he looks up to the greatest superhero of all time named All Might who is kinda like Captain America or like Captain Falcon or whatever he’s really cool and powerful and I don’t wantt to spoil the show for you but All Might is dying sort of and he passes down his abilities to Deku so Deku can become a superhero and go to superhero school. Because our hero was not born with his superpowers he has to work really really hard to achieve his dreams (once again, kinda like the villain in The Incredibles, the Disney Movie) but instead of being a villain and being murdered Deku is a good guy. Oh I just realized I spoiled the Incredibles for you guys by telling you that Syndrome gets killed by being sucked up in a jet turbine and I am sorry but the movie is old as hell and everyone loves Pixar movies so you’ve already seen it anyways and there’s a sequel coming out in 15 years (the Incredibles 2) so i’m just giving you a nice little plot synopsis anyways. Back to our precious boy

good boy

Look at this Sweet Precious Boy he’s the star of My Hero Academia and even though he isn’t born with superhero powers, he eventually receives a power (they call powers “Quirks” in the show) and he works hard every single day so that he can become a hero and protect his mom and everyone he cares about.

SO what i’m really trying to get at here is that the Incredibles (Disney Movie from the year 2004)’s message was Only the “Supreme” people Born with Talents and Gifts are Superior, and Anyone who Is not Born with Gifts deserves to dIE, even if you work hard at it every day, if it’ isn’t your God-Given natural talent, you Don’t Deserve to Be Happy. In My Hero Academia, the moral of the story is that Anyone can be a hero, and hard work and determination have true value.

This is why anime is better

 

Sorry.

 

[Also what is the deal with anime intros never being allowed on youtube i was going to post the intro to Boku No Hero but it’s not on youtube so here’s a video that says its supposed to be the intro song but it definitely full fucking stop ISN’T but it’s still pretty coool]

 

i should post more often

The problem with spending 7 years in university learning things is now I have to prove for the rest of my life that I spent 7 years in university learning things.

I want to spend this whole summer working on cool programming projects but I’m still burned out from writing a thesis.

I had lunch with an old friend today and it was really nice. It made me realize that, after I move, I really need to put in honest efforts to stay in touch with the people that matter to me. I probably won’t, but it’s nice sentiment to think about.

My roommate moved out last night and the first thing I did was eat some of his food from the freezer.

I’m anxious about passing a drug test even though I’ve pointedly never done drugs in my entire life. That’s pretty messed up.

Kinda feels like a Drink Beer and Play FTL sort of night am I right fellas

These Are My Halcyon Days But I’m Afraid Of My Age

Completely redoing my blog now that I have realized that tumblr isn’t really that great for the kind of blog I had in mind.

So what did I have in mind? I guess I don’t know. But this is a start?

Blast Damage Days is a song that’s been stuck in my head for the past few days. Although WORRY came out about a month ago, this song perfectly reflects a lot of the anxieties that have been building up in my head over the past week. This song means a lot of things to me. It’s a confirmation that the world seems to be falling apart despite how hard some of us try to keep things together. It’s also a confirmation that all we have in this terrifying world are the connections we make.

If that means anything to you, then please, never stop showing support for those you love.

Plus, the music video is a beautiful friendship between man and Mountain Dew. Cool. That’s pretty cool, right?